with a faery hand in hand

Summary: When he’s nervous, Matt sings Singin’ in the Rain under his breath.

Rating: K+

A/N – This whole thing is Charina’s fault. 

He doesn’t know when the habit started but he definitely knows it’s his sister’s fault. Laura had made him sit through that musical so many times when they were younger that he knew all the lyrics by heart by the time he was twelve. Dangerously clumsy even as a child, he would watch Gene Kelly, with all his grace and charm hanging from a lamppost and waltzing down the street, and wish he could be just like that.

 

At some point, he’d started humming the song under his breath when he needed to calm his nerves; when he wanted to be especially graceful and smooth. While being the ring bearer at a relative’s wedding when he was eight, he’d hummed over the sound of the wedding march. During the entirety of his driver’s test, he’d hummed.

 

However, as he’d aged, soon humming was no longer enough.

 

So he sings – quietly if he is around other people and as loud as he wants if he is by himself. It calms him, settles his nerves and allows him to think maybe, if he really concentrates, he can channel Gene Kelly. Just for a moment.

 

He doesn’t need the song as frequently as he did as a boy and through his teenage years – he’ll never forget that time his first girlfriend leaned in to kiss him and he’d quickly hummed a bar of the song, panicked and nervous.

 

But the day he learns that he’s going to have to kiss Alex Kingston, he knows there is no way around it. He’ll have to sing.

 

Before he met her, he’d seen her in a few films and television shows and had a slight crush on her. Nothing serious. He blamed it on the hair. But then she walked into the read-through room that first day and he has been half in love with her ever since. And it isn’t just the hair. It’s everything. His father used to talk about what he called “the thunderbolt” – the way he’d been struck the moment he’d seen Matt’s mother and known she was the one before he even spoke to her. Matt had always rolled his eyes when his father told the story, but now, he thinks he knows what his father meant.

 

Unfortunately, there are quite a few problems involved when “the thunderbolt” strikes. For one, the thunderbolt doesn’t care about age difference or previous marriages or children or Matt’s general clumsiness – around Alex in particular. He can’t be around her without tripping over himself, knocking over something breakable or spilling his drink in her lap. It’s mortifying and he knows she must think him a complete moron. Which is why kissing her is such a dilemma – he’ll probably wind up biting her by accident and then she’ll need stitches and never let him anywhere near her mouth again.

 

Right before they film the scene where River kisses the Doctor goodbye in Stormcage, Matt’s hands are shaking and his stomach is in knots. So, as he usually does when he needs more grace than he possesses, Matt relies on good ol’ Gene Kelly.

 

He watches from afar as someone fluffs Alex’s hair in preparation for the scene and just under his breath, he starts to sing.

 

“I’m singin’ in the rain, just singin’ in the rain. What a glorious feeling…”

 

When Alex pulls him in for a kiss, he doesn’t have to fake the way he flails but his mouth slides over hers easily and when she slips her tongue past his lips, he doesn’t bite down in surprise, kissing her right back instead.

 

When she pulls away, cupping his face with her soft palm, he blinks dazedly at her, Gene Kelly’s voice ringing in his ears.

 

After that, he can’t hear the song without thinking of her.

 

—

 

He’d hoped that after their first kiss, it would only get easier.

 

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

Lying on the marble steps in the venue they’ve acquired for Let’s Kill Hitler, he prepares himself for the moment when Alex kneels beside him and leans down to kiss him – reviving the Doctor and nearly killing Matt in the process.

 

They’re just about to start filming, Alex standing several feet away and chatting with Arthur and Karen, so Matt takes a deep breath and sings quietly.

 

“I’m laughing at clouds, so dark up above –”

 

“Action!”

 

Abruptly, he closes his mouth and shuts his eyes.

 

He can barely hear the tap of Alex’s boots on the floor over the rush of blood in his ears. Had that been enough? He’d barely even begun to sing – what if the minute she kisses him he can’t control his own limbs and he whacks her over the head? It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

 

Suddenly, he feels the gentle pressure of a warm hand on his cheek and he opens his eyes. Alex beams down at him, tears in her eyes. In his head, Matt sings another line as her lips descend over his.

 

The sun’s in my heart and I’m ready for love.

 

Alex kisses him and his eyes flutter shut.

 

He doesn’t have to worry about flailing limbs; he responds to her instantly and eagerly, forcing his arms to spread out and not reach up to pull her down to him. He wonders if she would fit against him as perfectly as he thinks she would.

 

When the director calls for a cut, Alex pulls away with a smile, patting his cheek affectionately. Matt stares up at her, mind fuzzy.

 

“You all right down there?” She asks, standing up to tower over him.

 

He nods once; entranced by the way the set lights outline her from behind, making her hair look like some kind of wild halo. Licking his lips, he says, “Just recovering from your rather remarkable lip service, Miss Kingston.”

 

Alex laughs, rolling her eyes as she reaches down a hand to help him to his feet. Standing with his hand still clasped in hers, he rubs his thumb gently over the back of her hand, winking at her before letting go.

 

Alex stares at him, mouth slightly open before she shakes her head and laughs. “I think you’re recovering just fine, darling.”

 

Matt smiles, tugging at his lapels. He’s starting to think he might be mistakenly channeling Clark Gable instead of Gene Kelly. Not that he’s complaining.

 

—

 

It’s the last episode of the season and while Matt is glad to have a break from the grueling hours of filming and a little relieved that he won’t be singing nearly so often, he has a feeling his copy of Singin’ in the Rain is going to be positively worn out by the time filming begins again.

 

It’ll be a nice reminder of Alex even after she’s gone.

 

For now, he stands off to the side while the set is prepared and the lighting is angled to perfection. He hasn’t seen Alex yet but he imagines she’s off somewhere patiently enduring someone else’s hands in her hair again. Fiddling nervously with the bowtie in his hands and completely alone with thoughts of wanting to kiss Alex as suavely as a thousand year old Time Lord would, he leans against the wall and decides that now would be a good time to sing.

 

“Why am I smiling and why do I sing?” he breathes, closing his eyes. “Why does September seem sunny as spring? Why do I get up each morning - ”

 

“Are you singing?”

 

Eyes flying open, Matt turns his head toward the sound of the voice and jumps away in surprise to find Alex leaning against the wall next to him, arms folded in front of her and brow furrowed.

 

Swallowing, he says, “If I said no, would you leave me alone?”

 

The corners of her mouth quirk upwards. “Not a chance.”

 

He sighs, fighting the urge to run a hand through his hair because he’ll most likely get it tangled in the extensions. “Then yes.”

 

Alex laughs. “Why are you singing, dear?”

 

“I always do,” he shrugs, leaning back against the wall once more and avoiding eye contact.

 

“I’ve never heard you before,” she points out. “I think I’d remember.”

 

“Well that’s because I only do it when - ”

 

“…When what?”

 

He huffs. “When I’m nervous and I need to be less like the clumsy bugger I am and more like Gene Kelly.”

 

“Gene Kelly?”

 

He nods, sneaking a glance at her. “Y’know, graceful? Never see him tripping over his own feet or spilling drinks in your lap.”

 

“All right.” Alex raises an eyebrow, amused. “But why are you singing right now? You need poise to wrap a bowtie around your hand and snog me?”

 

“Sort of,” he admits, looking away again with a grimace. “Yes.”

 

“You’ve certainly never had a problem kissing me before,” she says, choking on a laugh and Matt doesn’t even have to look at her to know she’s grinning widely.

 

“Well that’s because I’ve been singing,” he admits quietly, twisting the bowtie apprehensively around his fingers.

 

Alex places a hand over his, stopping him in the middle of unraveling the tie only to start wrapping it all over again. He glances at her and sees her watching him curiously. “But why?”

 

He stares, wondering how she isn’t getting this. “Because I am about to kiss you, Kingston. And I’d like to be good at it.”

 

Through the blush coloring her cheeks now, she protests, “But you are good at it, honey. It’s a talented tongue, yours.”

 

Nearly swallowing that very tongue at her words, he scratches nervously at his chin and says, “Well that’s not me. That’s Gene Kelly.”

 

Alex snorts. “I have not been snogging Gene Kelly. I’ve been snogging you.”

 

“Yes, with Gene Kelly’s help.”

 

She sighs, exasperated. “And why do you need Gene Kelly’s help?”

 

“Because I can’t seem to be anything but clumsy around you,” he blurts, cringing the moment the words are out of his mouth. He turns away from her, eyes shut. “Now go away. I have to sing.”

 

“I don’t think so.” Matt yelps when she grips the back of his coat collar and begins to haul him away.

 

“Kingston?” He protests, vaguely aware that people are gawking at them. “What are you doing?”

 

“Being your Debbie Reynolds,” she says, dragging him through the set and out the doors. She leads him into a darkened corridor and finally releases his collar.

 

Affronted, he tugs at his lapels and glares at her. “What was that for?!”

 

Alex puts her hands on her hips, tossing her hair. “Kiss me.”

 

“What?!”

 

She steps closer, so near he can smell her shampoo and see the fire blazing in those green eyes. “Kiss me. And no singing.”

 

He swallows. “I-I don’t think -”

 

Sighing, she leans a little nearer, her chest brushing his and Matt feels his heart jump into his throat. Putting her hand against his cheek, she says, “You don’t need to be Gene Kelly to kiss me, honey.” She bites her lip, watching him closely. “You don’t even need to be the Doctor.”

 

He stares. “Y-you mean –?”

 

She nods, smiling nervously and tucking curls behind her ear, but she meets his eyes without a hint of trepidation. “Kiss me.”

 

His breath catches. “Right. Okay.” Heart hammering, Matt slowly places his hands on her hips, pulling her into him and Alex follows willingly. Her hand slips between them, sliding up his chest to curl her fingers gently around the lapels of his jacket, her smile warm as she looks up at him.

 

The words to Singin’ in the Rain are on the tip of his tongue but Alex is watching him expectantly and when she tilts her head and licks her lips, he finds that he doesn’t really need the words. Bending his head, he brushes his mouth over hers softly and he feels her grip on his coat tighten. Encouraged, he kisses her more firmly, capturing her mouth eagerly. For the first time, he’s focusing on her and how she feels instead of the words to an old song in his head, and the new experience is stunning.

 

Alex opens under him, yielding to the brush of his tongue over her lips. She’s being very complacent, letting him take the lead and prove that he doesn’t need a song in his head or the Doctor’s persona to hide behind in order to kiss her. And he’s ecstatic to find that he really doesn’t.

 

Sliding his tongue against hers and groaning quietly at the taste of tea and something uniquely Alex, he tightens his grip on her waist, pressing her closer until she clings to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back fervently.

 

The thunderbolt his father had talked about is now an electric crackle under his skin, surging through his veins like lightening and emboldening him. He nips at Alex’s bottom lip and she moans softly, nails scratching at the back of his neck. Kissing Alex had been amazing before, but now that he isn’t distracted, it’s earth-shattering. Breathless and smiling into her mouth, he kisses her one last time before finally retreating, lifting his head to look down at her.

 

Alex blinks up at him, eyes hazy and lips swollen. Tracing her finger over his mouth in a way that has him fighting back a shiver, she says, “That was definitely not Gene Kelly.”

 

He grins, thumb caressing her hip affectionately. “Clark Gable?”

 

She shakes her head with a smile. “No. Just you.”

 

Down the corridor, he hears someone calling for them. Apparently they’re needed on set. But Alex just pushes him further into the shadows of the dark hallway and up against a wall with a mischievous grin. Hands on his shoulders, she leans up and kisses him once more, smiling all the while.

 

Ignoring whoever is shouting his name for now, Matt focuses instead on Alex. She feels just the way he’d hoped she would against him – a perfect fit. Raising his hand to cup her face, he slides his thumb over her cheekbone and she sighs happily into his mouth.

 

Matt smiles, and for the very last time while kissing Alex Kingston, he hears Gene Kelly’s voice in his head.

 

Because I am living a life full of you.